January 2012
Friend: Tia, looks at porn all day everyday! -laughs-
Me: .....True
Friend: What
paulfer:
paulfer:
rainbow cocks are the best
socks i meant SOCKS
1 tag
gleehiatussurvivor:
do you guys remember that one week when
darren at coachella half naked
darren’s painted nails
the warblers on that tv show thing
darren and his silly livestream
POLKA MUSIC
and then this bastard
then
then he plays a show on a street
just like that
no sleep
nbd
anderhudsons:
worst moment of 2011
December 2011
1 tag
Watchshumbodynamedharry:
Grabbed lunch before meeting up with friends and this is what happened after…Do something you’ve never done before the end of 2011…HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!
omg why
1 tag
when i lose my hetero virginity
guy: are you ready?
me: yeah. but actually, could you like...put your dick in my ass instead?
guy: ....um. why?
me: well i don't know much about vaginal sex, but i know a lot about anal.
guy: ....
me: it would just make me more comfortable if it's something i'm more enlightened about.
guy: ....
me: don't worry, i've read like a million fics on this, it only hurts for a little bit, and then it feels good.
guy: ....
me: just make sure to go slow at first.
guy: ....can i please just fuck your pussy.
me: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND OK VAGINAS ARE DRIPPY CAVERNS OF TERROR AND DEATH. ASSHOLES ARE THE HOMES OF UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS AND COOKIES AND SHIT
guy: ....i'm sorry i'm not comfortable with this.
me: FINE THEN. FUCK YOU.
...
...
...
so would you be down for pegging or
chriscoolfer:
magic conch shell?
YOU MEAN LIKE THIS?!
merediththehufflepuff:
i’ve listened to “bop to the top” 411 times and it’s officially the most played song on my itunes
why
1 tag
Meeting Darren
Me: Will you sign this?
Darren: Sure
Darren: Wait,what is that?
Me: A marriage certificate
Darren: But.. I..
Me: TOO LATE, YOU SIGNED IT
4 tags
3 tags
Watch
band member: hey what can i sign for you
me: just this piece of paper here please
band member: ok cool
**signs**
me: thanks
band member: wait was that an adoption paper
me: no BYE
band member: WAIT
me: NO
band member: SECURITY
me: BYE
